Thursday, March 01, 2007

I have found possibly the biggest moron on the net...

...or rather, "it" found me.

Quite some time ago, I posted a video I had made in iMovie just as a little experiment on You Tube. It is a photo slide show of the USA Break Dancers' Julio performing his 'Re-Run' dance. It's not the greatest thing on the net, but the pics are fun and I posted it because...well...I'm not actually sure why.

It has received a few comments. Most people don't like it and I have been called an asshole because of it.

...geez, you'd think I skinned live puppies or something...

GET A LIFE PEOPLE!! It's just a harmless, stupid slide show. It's not racist. It's not pornographic. It's not degrading to women. It doesn't even contain any nasty curse words. Just pics of a funny dude dancing. That's all.

Being called an asshole and having people not like the video are not the reasons for this post. They're entitled to their opinions and if their comments bothered me so much, I could remove them. But I don't.

This post is a salute to the biggest moron to utilize this crazy internet thingy. His name (I assume it is a 'he'...not really sure...) sparkyfoley.

Ol' Spary-boy sent me a message via You Tube yesterday. Apparently my video was extremely offensive to him and he could not resist letting me know in this oh-so eloquent manner...

From: sparkyfoley [videos (0) | favorites (0) | friends (0)]

Sent: February 28, 2007
Subject: clips????
Message:
this video is doooooo doo.........i come to see the dance and get fucking clips..........glad your a pussy and disabled comments....but youll be hearing from me asshole..........


I'll be hearing from him?! Was I just internet-geek threatened? Is my slide show SOOOO offensive that it is just cause for a personal vendetta? Sparky ain't right in the head.

Well, allow me to retort...and Sparky, if you're reading this, 'retort' means 'reply' or 'respond'...

To: sparkyfoley [videos (0) | favorites (0) | friends (0)]

Sent: March 01, 2007
Read: March 01, 2007
Subject: Re: clips????
Message:
thank you for your oh so eloquent message...don't like it?...don't watch it. I didn't post it for you.

and comments are not disabled, FYI. go ahead and comment, asshole, if you feel SOOOO strongly that it would make the world a better place.

and it is a photo slideshow, not video clips.

excuse me, but aren't there worse things out there to be pissed off about besides me experimenting with iMovie?


You see, it's dudes like Ol' Sparky here that fill the internet with garbage and shit and hate and anger. He's the type of guy who is offended by my harmless, simple little dance video, but would laugh his ass off at the videos of the soldiers in Iraq taunting the children with bottles of water or throwing rocks at the helpless, injured dog with the missing leg.

Now that I think about it, he'd be one of the soldiers doing those disgusting things.

I think my message pissed him off a bit which did nothing for his grasp of the English language...

From: sparkyfoley [videos (0) | favorites (0) | friends (0)]

Sent: March 01, 2007
Subject: Re: Re: clips????
Message:
i know that comments are disable...but FYI fuckstain....ill just send you messages on here......also your mother sucks a mean cock...just like your photo slideshow.....you fucking tool.....sorry you got so offensive when someone tells you how bad your shit is....well your not gonna make through life there boy...so you should just go and off yourself now.....that way A i dont get to hear your bantering and B i dont have to watch your waste of time terrible videos.........did i tell you to go fuck yourself?????


Now I apparently should take my own life because of my video. Wow. I had no idea it was so powerful. He's right though. It may just cause World War III it's so bad. I'm a threat to the future of the human race. I need to be stopped.

*...hey Sparky...I realize you're a little slow so I'll let you in on a little secret...don't tell anybody but those last comments were sarcasm....ssshhhhhh...*

Needless to say, I informed Rob about my new found best friend and let him read our correspondence. He replied to Sparky on my behalf...

To: sparkyfoley [videos (0) | favorites (0) | friends (0)]

Sent: March 01, 2007
Read: March 01, 2007
Subject: Re: Re: Re: clips????
Message:
Hey. Cocksmoker. Buy a fucking copy of Hooked on Phonics. Goddamn. Please tell me English is your second language or you are in grade 3, please. Fuck, buddy, please go back to school and learn, learn, learn. Fill your little brain with something other than online porn and video game cheat codes. Get a life, get out of your parents' basement, take a fucking bath and get a much needed blow job. Sparky, my friend, please, please, please meet a girl or a guy or a donkey and stop being a YouTube comment loser. Jesus loves you, buddy.


Yea. I think Rob was a little mad.

This sent Sparky into a rant containing some of the funniest insults I have ever heard...partially due to his lack of spelling and grammar skills...

From: sparkyfoley [videos (0) | favorites (0) | friends (0)]

Sent: March 01, 2007
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: clips????
Message:
listen you little bitch........thats funny...you almost tried there......just because your video was donkey cheeks its ok...you have to try to make fun of someone....try......its ok.......well ill ghet that blow job when i see those sweet sweet cocksuckers of your mothers...mmmmmmm mmmmmmm can she suck a cock...like a golf ball through a garden hose....am i going to fast for you you fucking cerabal palsy having window licker???? i will in fact continue to talk shit on you and you alone.....its funny to see you get all worked up there sally.......oh and you can go fuck jesus too


I think my favourite part is 'cerabal palsy having window licker'...every time I read that, it cracks me the hell up.

I am done communicating with Sparky. I was actually going to block him from my YouTube account, but I am interested in seeing his next comments. Sparky makes me laugh.

I checked out his YouTube account and found nothing. Really. Nothing. He has no videos, no favourites, no friends (big shock), no groups...no nothin'. His sole purpose in life is to browse the net and toss poorly worded insults and misspelled gibber-gabber at people. In fact, on his profile all it says is, and I quote: "If i dont like your shit youll be the fist to know".

I encourage all of you to visit sparkyfoley and send him a message. Let him know what you think of his shit. Here is the link to his profile...

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=sparkyfoley

There. I am done. I will waste no more time on this waste of skin. But I do eagerly await his next message. We could all use a good laugh now and then, right?