A Poet's Life

I love punk rock. I love almost everything to do with punk rock. I love (not in a batting of the eye lashes and sighing "I'm gonna marry him someday" kind of love, but a "Holy shit that dude fucking rocks ass!" kind of love) Tim Armstrong and Rancid and had the honour of meeting him, Lars and Matt last December.

I hugged Lars, kissed Matt and talked and gushed Tim's ear off, I'm sure. It was quite thrilling indeed.

Tim was very sweet and expressed shock when I told him we drove 8 hours (twice) to see them perform. I'd do it again in a heart beat.

Tim's album A Poet's Life is officially released today and I couldn't be happier. It is available for download on Rancid's MySpace page along with a shit load of videos.

Check this out..



Kick ass, indeed. He's the coolest.

Yikes!

Not sure how I feel about this. At first I thought it was really cute and after viewing it again, it totally freaked me the hell out!

What are your thoughts?

Thank You, Alanis...

I have a new found respect for Alanis Morrisette....

I have found possibly the biggest moron on the net...

...or rather, "it" found me.

Quite some time ago, I posted a video I had made in iMovie just as a little experiment on You Tube. It is a photo slide show of the USA Break Dancers' Julio performing his 'Re-Run' dance. It's not the greatest thing on the net, but the pics are fun and I posted it because...well...I'm not actually sure why.

It has received a few comments. Most people don't like it and I have been called an asshole because of it.

...geez, you'd think I skinned live puppies or something...

GET A LIFE PEOPLE!! It's just a harmless, stupid slide show. It's not racist. It's not pornographic. It's not degrading to women. It doesn't even contain any nasty curse words. Just pics of a funny dude dancing. That's all.

Being called an asshole and having people not like the video are not the reasons for this post. They're entitled to their opinions and if their comments bothered me so much, I could remove them. But I don't.

This post is a salute to the biggest moron to utilize this crazy internet thingy. His name (I assume it is a 'he'...not really sure...) sparkyfoley.

Ol' Spary-boy sent me a message via You Tube yesterday. Apparently my video was extremely offensive to him and he could not resist letting me know in this oh-so eloquent manner...

From: sparkyfoley [videos (0) | favorites (0) | friends (0)]

Sent: February 28, 2007
Subject: clips????
Message:
this video is doooooo doo.........i come to see the dance and get fucking clips..........glad your a pussy and disabled comments....but youll be hearing from me asshole..........

I'll be hearing from him?! Was I just internet-geek threatened? Is my slide show SOOOO offensive that it is just cause for a personal vendetta? Sparky ain't right in the head.

Well, allow me to retort...and Sparky, if you're reading this, 'retort' means 'reply' or 'respond'...

To: sparkyfoley [videos (0) | favorites (0) | friends (0)]

Sent: March 01, 2007
Read: March 01, 2007
Subject: Re: clips????
Message:
thank you for your oh so eloquent message...don't like it?...don't watch it. I didn't post it for you.

and comments are not disabled, FYI. go ahead and comment, asshole, if you feel SOOOO strongly that it would make the world a better place.

and it is a photo slideshow, not video clips.

excuse me, but aren't there worse things out there to be pissed off about besides me experimenting with iMovie?

You see, it's dudes like Ol' Sparky here that fill the internet with garbage and shit and hate and anger. He's the type of guy who is offended by my harmless, simple little dance video, but would laugh his ass off at the videos of the soldiers in Iraq taunting the children with bottles of water or throwing rocks at the helpless, injured dog with the missing leg.

Now that I think about it, he'd be one of the soldiers doing those disgusting things.

I think my message pissed him off a bit which did nothing for his grasp of the English language...

From: sparkyfoley [videos (0) | favorites (0) | friends (0)]

Sent: March 01, 2007
Subject: Re: Re: clips????
Message:
i know that comments are disable...but FYI fuckstain....ill just send you messages on here......also your mother sucks a mean cock...just like your photo slideshow.....you fucking tool.....sorry you got so offensive when someone tells you how bad your shit is....well your not gonna make through life there boy...so you should just go and off yourself now.....that way A i dont get to hear your bantering and B i dont have to watch your waste of time terrible videos.........did i tell you to go fuck yourself?????

Now I apparently should take my own life because of my video. Wow. I had no idea it was so powerful. He's right though. It may just cause World War III it's so bad. I'm a threat to the future of the human race. I need to be stopped.

*...hey Sparky...I realize you're a little slow so I'll let you in on a little secret...don't tell anybody but those last comments were sarcasm....ssshhhhhh...*

Needless to say, I informed Rob about my new found best friend and let him read our correspondence. He replied to Sparky on my behalf...

To: sparkyfoley [videos (0) | favorites (0) | friends (0)]

Sent: March 01, 2007
Read: March 01, 2007
Subject: Re: Re: Re: clips????
Message:
Hey. Cocksmoker. Buy a fucking copy of Hooked on Phonics. Goddamn. Please tell me English is your second language or you are in grade 3, please. Fuck, buddy, please go back to school and learn, learn, learn. Fill your little brain with something other than online porn and video game cheat codes. Get a life, get out of your parents' basement, take a fucking bath and get a much needed blow job. Sparky, my friend, please, please, please meet a girl or a guy or a donkey and stop being a YouTube comment loser. Jesus loves you, buddy.

Yea. I think Rob was a little mad.

This sent Sparky into a rant containing some of the funniest insults I have ever heard...partially due to his lack of spelling and grammar skills...

From: sparkyfoley [videos (0) | favorites (0) | friends (0)]

Sent: March 01, 2007
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: clips????
Message:
listen you little bitch........thats funny...you almost tried there......just because your video was donkey cheeks its ok...you have to try to make fun of someone....try......its ok.......well ill ghet that blow job when i see those sweet sweet cocksuckers of your mothers...mmmmmmm mmmmmmm can she suck a cock...like a golf ball through a garden hose....am i going to fast for you you fucking cerabal palsy having window licker???? i will in fact continue to talk shit on you and you alone.....its funny to see you get all worked up there sally.......oh and you can go fuck jesus too

I think my favourite part is 'cerabal palsy having window licker'...every time I read that, it cracks me the hell up.

I am done communicating with Sparky. I was actually going to block him from my YouTube account, but I am interested in seeing his next comments. Sparky makes me laugh.

I checked out his YouTube account and found nothing. Really. Nothing. He has no videos, no favourites, no friends (big shock), no groups...no nothin'. His sole purpose in life is to browse the net and toss poorly worded insults and misspelled gibber-gabber at people. In fact, on his profile all it says is, and I quote: "If i dont like your shit youll be the fist to know".

I encourage all of you to visit sparkyfoley and send him a message. Let him know what you think of his shit. Here is the link to his profile...

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=sparkyfoley

There. I am done. I will waste no more time on this waste of skin. But I do eagerly await his next message. We could all use a good laugh now and then, right?

Toronto July 22, 2007

My dreams have come true!!

I'm going to see the Police if it kills me.

Patti Goodwin put it best when she said, "Are you kidding? Of course I'm in! They're the fist band I ever gave a shit about."

Mr. Bon Soo...not a music fan, apparently

Well, as it is now late Sunday night (or early Monday morning, depending on how you wanna look at it), Bon Soo is now officially said and done with.

I am ashamed (not really) to say the first, last and only event I actually made it to was the Battle of the Bands that took place at the Holiday Inn Friday night. And even had I not been covering it for SooToday.com, I still would have gone. In case you didn't know, I am a HUGE live music fan and try to get to any and every show possible.

Unless I'm sleeping. I do that a lot.

Shaddap. I'm old.

Three bands took part in said Band Battle; Sailor's Tongue (blues/rock young guys headed by Kyle McKey who you may have seen around town performing with Jay Scali), the Blackberries (old-school rock and/or roll with the infamous and unnaurally skinny Norm Rosteck at the mic) and the Crossed (uber-talented emo/progressive/rock/metal group still in high school fronted by the energetic and quite cute Jordan Flesher).

The Crossed took it, hands down.

This is just a smidgen of the energy these young lads have. I was happy such a young gang 'o fellas who perform in a not-so-popular genre were validated by beating out a couple of what this city normally deems as the creme de la creme.

This is not to say that the others are not talented or did not deserve to win, but the Crossed went above and beyond. Maybe a few of our local celebrities are getting a bit comfortable and, in turn, lazy. The Crossed worked damn hard on stage that night and I'm happy for them.

And making everyone sound awesome that night was none other than George Ravlich and Crank Sound Distribution. This is the hand of George. Say 'hi' hand.

I was disapointed that Mr. Bon Soo did not make an appearance. I guess he just does not feel the same affection for our local talent that I do. He'd rather disrupt the work day at Cross Country or stare like a pervert at all the local loonies that feel the need to plunge into the frosty St. Mary's River.

Oh well.

Following the Battle of the Bands, I headed to Foggy Notions for a beverage of the adult sort. Stiffler's Mom was playing. It had been quite some time since I had seen them. As I entered the bar, they sarted into what my opinion is one of the greatest rock and roll songs ever written, AC/DC's A Whole Lotta Rosie.

That was it for me. I didn't care if they did nothing but fart into the mic for the rest of the night, although that would have been HILARIOUS. Rosie always makes me very, very, VERY happy.

Still with camera in hand, I took a lesson from Canadian Mark and took a table-top-in-a-bar shot and ended up with this fun image...

...too bad I hate Coors Light...a beer for people who don't like the taste of beer but want to appear cool by drinking a beer and not soda water like they really want...

I gave the notion of going to photograph the Polar Bear Swim some thought...a small, tiny, brief, flashing thought...but opted instead to go for brunch at Shannon and Maria's. This has become a Sunday tradition ever since the Downbeat closed and is quickly becoming my favourite part of the week. Not only do I get to chow on some yummy grub, but it's always a good source of laughs and photo ops.

This is Dan sitting in front of some of Shannon's graffiti.

This is Shannon eating an apple in front of some of Shannon's graffiti.

And this is Dan's dog, Nico, and Shannon's dog, Maverick, looking more evil and scarey than enything I have ever seen. They were only playing, honest. By the time Dan and Nico left, Maverick was completely exhausted and covered in doggie spit...eewwwww gross...

"So get out and enjoy Bon Soo..."

Nah. I'd rather sleep and drink and eat and referee a dog fight, thank you very much.

My Nipples Are Hard

Is anyone else as excited as I am about this?

Yes, the Police performed at the 49th Grammy Awards.

Yes, they did a killer Roxanne.

Yes, they looked and sounded amazing, even Andy Summers who is now 64 years old.

Yes, they all held hands and took a bow (or two) after their performance.

No, Stewart Copeland did not punch Sting in the head, nor did he look like he wanted to.

Rob and I have already decided that if a tour is in order for the Police, we will do whatever it takes to see it including taking out a loan from the bank to procure tickets and get to any and all destinations that are even remotely feasible.

The only thing better would be bringing Curt Cobain back from the dead and reuniting Nirvana...or resurrecting Elvis (sorry, he REALLY is dead)...or Johnny Cash...or the Beatles...

OK. There are a lot of cool things I would like to happen, but they won't. This could actually take place.

Dear sweet Jebus, make this happen!

Mother Nature flips Mr. Bon Soo the bird

So there you have it. Bon Soo begins and everything goes to hell in a hand basket. It was even declared a snow day today by my boss, so I went home early from work.

I decided to do something I have not done in ages...take pictures just for the hell of it despite our current deep freeze. I did not engage in Canadian Mark's signature "walk about"...it was more of a "drive about". I may be a bit crazy but I'm not stupid! Did you look outside today? Sheesh! I'm sorry I bitched about having a green Christmas.

I finally made it to the Art Gallery to view the Bon Soo Juried Art Show. Nice job CO. I love the large matte you went with. Your photographs definitely stand out.



...these were taken in the parking lot of the Art Gallery...note the barely visible car in the second photograph...I had to wade knee deep in snow to get to the Gallery...Michael Burch was just on his way out the door to shovel when I arrived...

...and this is me being all stealthy-like inside the Gallery...they don't like it when you take pictures inside without permission...that's Curt's photo behind my head, just in case you doubted my visit...

Riddle me this...

How does a most excellent photo of Domino get turned down for the art show, but a cheesy painting of Motley Crue gets accepted? Not that I have anything against Motley Crue. In fact, I'm listening to them right now. But this is an art show.

I don't get it...

Anyway, I had full intentions of heading off to the Winter Playground today, but parking was a pain...by pain, I mean far away and would entail me walking in the blizzard...and I wanted to avoid being outside as much as possible.

...it cleared just long enough for me to get this shot and follow the directions to the Pine Street Marina to park for the Playground...


...I got out of the car long enough to snap a couple of pictures and then thought better of venturing to the Playground...screw that crap!!...in the 2 minutes I was outside, my extremities became so cold it burned...I felt like Rick Mercer when he paid a visit to Professor Popcicle or Dr. Icecube or whatever his name is...ya know, the guy who experiments with hypothermia...that guy...

I'm not affraid to admit that most of the pictures I took today were taken in the toastiness of my motor vehicle.

As for Bon Soo, I can only imagine that any outdoor events planned for today have either been cancelled, rescheduled or moved indoors. There is one event I will definitely be at, however. The Battle of the Bands is Friday evening. I can't wait to see Mr. Bon Soo rock out with his cock out!

...or as I like to call him, Mr. Hydrocephalus...tee hee...

C'est Bon Soo...

I'm a wuss.

The weather since the kick-off to Bon Soo has kept me hudled indoors under a blankie watching movies.

Plus Rob and I had company over the weekend. Rob's brother Dwayne and his girlfriend Jen came up to surprise their father Jim Slack on the occassion of his 60th birthday, which was on Sunday at the Elks Hall.

Jim is an Elk. A past Grand Poobah, actually. The real title is Exhalted Ruler but I can't bring myself to say those words with out bursting into uncontrollable fits of laughter. I prefer Grand Poobah, but he would kill me if he knew I called him that, so keep it under your hat. I like to keep him happy because (a) he is my father-in-law and (b) the Elks sponsor Buskerfest thanks to Jim Slack.

What does any of this have to do with Bon Soo?

Absolutally nothing.

However....


...Mr. Bon Soo was on hand briefly at the birthday celebration, shown here with the guest of honour. He was making an appearance at some sort of after-event-party that was taking place upstairs at the Elks and used the downstairs bar as a change room. It was a very strange site to see Mr. Bon Soo get felt up by a gang of men as the costume was assembled. Wish you could have been there.

So, Bon Soo, huh?

It has been years since I have taken in any Bon Soo events, I hate to say. About 14 years ago I was part of a Snomadness team. The Community Living Algoma Ice Breakers. That was the last time I did anything even remotely related to Bon Soo. Not sure why.

Could be I hate the cold. Could be that none of the entertainment appeals to me. Could just be laziness.

I plan to change this....after I borrow a snow suit from someone. I will go out and about to photograph some stuff and things.

Promise.

Pi in the Sky

Daniel Tammet is a British man. A brilliant British man.

Possibly the highest functioning autistic savant ever known, Daniel (known in the UK as Brainman) can perform astonishing calculations in his head and says that numbers form visual landscapes full of colour and texture, making some more attractive than others.

289 is very ugly.

333 is quite beautiful.

But for Daniel, the most beautiful number is the universe is Pi....π....

On March 14, 2004, Daniel astounded the world when he recited Pi to 22 514 decimal places with no mistakes in 5 hours and 9 minutes. He had it memorized. He still remembers it. Most of us get to 3.14159 and say "blah blah blah".

"It literally took me a few weeks to learn the number, and that was backwards as well as forwards."

Daniel also speaks 9 languages...well, 10 actually, if you count Mӓnti, a language he has created and has been speaking since he was a child.

He was put to the test when researchers challenged him to learn Icelandic in 7 days. He did it. After one week, Daniel appeared on Icelandic television and was interviewed.

He is a truly fascinating individual.

Just because...

I am posting the following pictures just because I like them. They may not be the best band pics, but for whatever reason, I happen to like them a lot.

Some are slightly out of focus. some are REALLY out of focus and some are happy accidents....little oopsies that I couldn't have achieved if I tried my darnedest to get 'em. Some of them you have seen before, some you haven't.

And I chatted with the House of Blues dude at the Hip show and he told me that as long as I don't put the Crue pics on t-shirts, mugs and stuff, I can do whatever the hell I want with them.

Fuckin' eh!

Ready for some Motley Crue?


...definitely an unplanned shot...the strobe light just happened to work in my favour...Mr. Nikki Sixx right at the beginning of the show...



...every photographer prays for a photo-op like this one...I nearly shit when he pointed at me...I blew him a kiss for it...he winked...my husband was proud of me for flirting with Nikki Sixx...



...Vince Neil...you can barely tell who it is but this shot really appeals to me...maybe it's the motion captured...I think it illustrates the energy of the show...



...two and a half members of Motley Crue...you can see a tiny bit of Mick Mars...how does Nikki get his hair to do that?...

And now for some Tragically Hip...





...a terrible shot but I LOVE it...not sure why...






...I think this one is my favourite out of all the Hip pics...the glare off my lens - sorry, Curt's lens - adds to the intensity of the moment...I need to use this one for a poster or something...

How Fitting

So, what did Miss Donna do on the eve of her second-last day of work for Rentcash Inc?

She watched the movie "Office Space."

And it made her feel a whole hell of a lot better about her decision to quit and not really have much lined up to take its place.

What?!

Donna quit her job?

Yes she did. She quit because she was tired of the corporate bullshit and the lack of comformity and the shitty pay and the disappointment and the sheer evilness of the payday loan industry the horrible "must walk on eggshells" feeling that permiated every waking moment there and the fact that she felt like throwing up every morning before she went to work.

Oh yea. Let's not forget the really, really stinky clients. I mean, we would have to Febreeze the entire office after some of these people left. So stinky that you could taste the odour.

That's fucking stinky.

So, she is virtually jobless now...well, as of 6:00pm Tuesday January 23, 2007. She has a part-time gig lined up but it's gonna be pretty freakin' tight in the 'ol Slackhopper household for the next bit.

Job Fair, here she comes!

When it comes down to it, all you really need to be happy is a red Swingline stapler.

The History of a Camera, Part II

Now that the craziness and sickness of the holiday season is behind me, I have found the time to publish the second installment of the History of My Camera. Here are the next 10 pics...


...the Sheriff from White Cowbell Oklahoma when they played at Foggy Notions...super fun show and I can't wait for their return...



...the Cousin Who Hath No Name, also from WCO @ Foggys...



...the singer of Paper Moon at their Downbeat gig...AWESOME band...



...a weird metal thingy behind the shed at Carrie's camp...having my camera set to a completely inappropriate exposure resulted in a neat photograph...



...I like lamps...and plants...



...another killer band, From Chimpan-A to Chimpan-Z as they rocked the DBL...



...from my first official band photo shoot...not the best of the bunch, but it was a really fun day...



...Bubba of WCO as they performed as Blue Velvet Kentucky at the DBL...



...another of my favourite Canadian indie bands, The Wheat Monkeys...terrible shot...



...a band who is currently making pretty big waves, the Tokyo Police Club...I have heard them played on Indie 103.1 out of L.A. and they recently got a couple of mentions in Rolling Stone...they're amazing...

...and now for a brighter note...

Sorry for all my gloom and "poor me" crap.

Here is something fun. A snippet from my favourite Christmas cartoon, "A Wish For Wings That Work"..



Emjoy!

This Christmas blows goats

Well, these have been my best friends for the last 3 days...


I have been sick on and off for about 2 months now, and naturally the worst of it has to hit at Christmas. I have no energy, one hell of a sore throat and chest, no voice at all, plenty of phlegm and a lot of hatred for viruses.

I missed all the fun stuff and it seriously bums me out; the Gates of Winter/IT/Startlefish show, Al Wood and Lindsay at Bottom's Up, the A&PHL, Dan Nystedt's house party, Shannon's birthday...this sucks...

I have barely been out of the house since work on Friday night.

...and James Brown died this morning...

Merry fucking Christmas.

Baby Jesus' Birthday and stuff...

At this time of year, stress, bills and tension mounts. Just keep in mind that the holidays are a time for family, friends and giving.

For the men out there who have no idea what to give their little lady, may I offer this suggestion?

Ya know, I may not like the guy's music that much, but every day I gain more and more respect for Mr. Timberlake.

Anyhoo, just for shits and gigles, here is my very own Christmas movie quiz for y'all. Good luck!

1. What length of pole would the singer of "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" not touch him with?

2. What was the last thing the Grinch took from Cindy-Loo Hoo's house?

3. What was the name of the Grinch's dog? (yea, this is an easy one...)

4. What roll did Charlie Brown fill in the school Christmas play in "A Charlie Brown Christmas"?

5. What song did Lucy insist Schroder play in "A Charlie Brown Christmmas"?

6. What did Snoopy win an award for in "A Charlie Brown Christmas" and what place was he?

7. How did Opus get his letter to Santa in "A Wish For Wings That Work"?

8. What support group did Opus belong to in "A Wish For Wings That Work"?

9. What was Jack Skellington's dog's name in "A Nightmare Before Christmas"?

10. What did Sally entice Oogie-Boogie with in order to draw his attention away from Santa in a "Nightmare Before Christmas"?

11. Who did Lock, Shock and Barrel first kidnap, thinking he was Santa Claus in "A Nightmare Before Christmas"?

12. Who played Robin Willimas' character's military-minded cousin in "Toys"?

13. What was Yukon Cornelius searching for in "Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer"?

14. Why was the Abominable Snowman so angry in "Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer"?

15. Why was Hermey the elf a misfit in "Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer"? (yea, another easy one...)

Have fun and by all means, have a wicked-ass Christmas!!

The History of a Camera, Part Uno-The Love of Bands

So a while ago, Curt O'Neil started an interesting project on his blog and invited other photographers to take part...the history of their cameras in picture form. I decided it was cool, because I am after all the ultimate judge in coolness, and wanted to take part.

To read what he is getting at, click here. Too lazy to click there? Screw you, too bad. You miss out. I'm too lazy to explain it all and my laziness out-weighs your laziness on my blog.

Here are the first of the pics....


Milhouse. My best little guy and in love with the camera.


The Downbeat Lounge. My favourite watering hole and the inspiration for my band photography. Rest in peace.


Tracey Hilderly, the rockinest chick in the Sault, drumming with the Malcontents at the DBL. Note the Motley Crue t-shirt and the cowboy hat......nice!


Dustin Jones of the Inner Cuty Surfers. He rocks, he loves, he leaves. That's just what he does. The Surfers made me fall into a deep and insatiable addiction to live band photography.


Mikey Hawdon of the Inner Cuty Sufers. See the comments above. The same goes for him too.


Al Wood, Lindsay Pugh and Frank Deresti jamming at Loplops with some chicks whose name I don't remember. Not a great pic, by any stretch.


My lovely husband doing what he does best.


Trevor Heartless and Dan Nystedt posing with Rae Spoon, a Downbeat favourite and part of the bar's family.


I've always liked lamps.


Trevor Heartless during a late night, very drunk jam in the basement of the DBL.

There you have my first insallment of the history of my camera, which was purchased in March of 2006. I have taken over 12 000 pictures with it. I never plan to stop.

Ever.