NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Canada just got eliminated from Olympic Men's hockey...lost against Russia about two minutes ago...no medal for us at all...how does this happen?...we're freakin' Canada for cryin' in the sink!! I'm sad...

...some STUFF and a few THINGS...

Winter blows goats. And this city's snow removal team blows the biggest, evilest goats of them all. Not once this winter have they cut the banks back from the stretch of Wellington Street upon which I live. If you want to seriously risk life and limb, try backing out of my driveway...it's a rush!

Now for something completely different...

In music news, I have discovered my new favourite band.
Living Things. I saw a video of theirs on "The Wedge" about a week ago and said "Holy shit these guys are awesome!" I then downloaded a few more tunes and fell in love. After visiting their website I was hooked. Go there. Go there now! I now own the CD and it has taken up permanent residence in my CD changer. If you take Iggy Pop, Sloan and the Killers and smoosh them all together, you get Living Things...very cool...

Also in music,
Magneta Lane's new album has just been released in North America. These hot babes are gonna be huge and the album is awesome. I think I purchased the last copy at CD Plus, but go on a hunt for it...you will not be disappointed.

Pandora. Have I told you about Pandora yet? I have been trying my darndest to spread the word about Pandora. It's an on-line music station...but it's much much more than that. You basicly create your own radio stations...like having your own personal DJ. Enter the name of a band or song you like and Pandora will find other music with similar sounds and styles to play. You then give each song a thumbs up or thumbs down and soon you have created your ultimate station...it's VERY cool and a great way to discover music and bands you may not have otherwise heard about. To register, you have to be a resident of the US...it will ask you for a Zip Code...just enter the one for Sault Michigan and you're all good...49783...have fun and you're welcome...

In local music news......

...the Speakeasy...be there and throw bras at the boys...they like that...come and marvel at the new skinny Mr. West...witness the continuing battle of who is a side project to whom...be amazed at the drummer who can drink a beer faster than a speeding bullet...it's a freak show not to be missed!!

Unfortunately, I will miss it...I will be playing the part of bar wench that evening at LopLops...type-casting be damned!

...also, Mr. Mark Kunsti will be doing a solo gig at the Downbeat Lounge this Thursday evening. I believe he also sent me a poster but I accidently deleted it from my e-mail...sorry dude...my bad... Mark has a smooth sweet voice like butter and he always plays "Eat My Brain" for me...thanks Mark! Maybe Lord Pugh will show up and they can do "Silver Water"...possibly the greatest local country song DLP doesn't remember writing...

This Friday night at the Downbeat Lounge,
Controller Controller will be performing once again. If you missed them the last time, this is your chance to see an amazing band that is sure to go big. (their music can be found on Pandora, which I thought was pretty cool...) High energy, multi-talented and a lot of freakin' fun!! And you can definitely dance to it... I will be playing the roll of video assistant to Mr. Dan Nystedt that evening...a roll I would love to have permanently. See y'all there!

Finally, this Sunday evening get ready to rock out with your cock out!...the
Ultimate Power Duo will be performing at the Downbeat Lounge. With obvious influences like the Ramones and Spinal Tap, a good time is unavoidable. Raise a glass and a fist to the Ultimate power Duo!!

Nar-Nar!...for the last time...promise...

Thus begins the final installment of my Dominican tour in pictures...then I will stop boasting and get on with my life...promise...


This was at the country house/ranch/farm/whatever it was...Sandro said this was typically how the average Dominican person lived, although this particular family did a bit better than most because a few of these tours stopped at their house and bought their products...I'm sure the tour company kicked in a couple of bucks as well...


The kitchen...that blue seemed to be a very common colour down there for houses and such...the home had natural gas and electricity, but no running water. A very large percentage of homes have natural gas, a lot have electricity but the running water seems to be the issue. As we entered the home, Sandro said Dominican people are extremely clean even though the general impression by outsiders is that it is a dirty country..."If you want to know what kind of person someone is, look at how clean their house is" he said, I think trying to dispel the idea that these people and others like them are "lower class"...the house was spotless...


This family grew coconuts, mangos, sweet lemons, pineapples, coffee, bananas, cocoa, oregano and aloe vera...they also raised roosters...that's coming up in just a minute...I think I saw a goat or two hangin' around as well...that's a cocoa tree posing with Sandro...

We got to sample most of it...I have never tasted cocoa or coffee even close to what we had there...WOW! is all I can say...and fruit so fresh and delicious it pinched me on the butt...


Yep...that's a cock fight...I said "cock" (teehee)...apparently it is a very lucrative business down there, perfectly legal and a good cock (teehee) sells for around $1000.00 US. Renegging on a cock (teehee) fight bet results in a fate worse than death...shame and dishonour...
They wash the cocks (teehee) in rum to toughen the skin...Weird...
This battle was not to the death and only lasted about 5 minutes, but it was cool none the less...


This is the view of the mountains from the ranch where we ate a lunch of beans and rice, BBQed pork and bread...YUMMMM! We also went horseback riding...I got bit on the leg by the asshole horse the Greek lady was riding...OUCH!!...then he tried another two or three times to get me...that horse was a dick head...maybe he thought I has an apple...I am pretty fuckin' sweet...

We hung out there for a bit looking at the alligators, flamingos, various other birds and the terrified monkey in the cage...oh yeah...and the really sad sickly looking dogs...

I found my favourite souvenir there...a really gnarley piece of beach glass that I will be making into a pendant...I love free....


That's Dave in the thick of the school children feeding frenzy of candy...they completely surrounded and ambushed the truck, their tiny hands reaching in and grabbing at us like something out of a nightmare...it was CRAZY...a lot of the people on the tour brought candy to hand out...I forgot mine at the resort but I did bring school supplies and they loved it..."A mi, a mi, Senora, a mi!" they would scream, meaning "to me". I did end up buying a bag of candy at the store behind Dave and tried to hand the sweets out in an orderly fashion, making sure to get to the really little ones but by the time my hand got down to them it was always empty.

Off to the side, Rob and Sandro were discussing the situation. This practice used to bother Sandro a great deal until he remembered what it was like when he was young and his uncle would visit from New York and bring him candy. Sandro and the driver let this craziness go on for a bit and then they would step in and chill things out...the kids always listened to them and order was returned...


On the ride back to the main truck loading place (I talk good English, eh?) Sandro spent most of the journey asleep in the front of the truck...he was a bit hung over, I think...it seems the local baseball team won some sort of National championship and the whole town celebrated...very loudly...we could hear the ruckus at the resort...

The gang in the back of the truck did not mind...we emptied the beer cooler thanks to the French guy who was a champ at opening beer bottles with a lighter...VIVE LA FRANCE!!

The excursion and the beautiful wedding made going into debt toally worth while. The resort was beautiful and awesome and fun, but I am so happy we got to see the real Dominican Republic. I would do it again in a heart beat.

Now for a few more general fun photos of high jinx and stuff...


...not there 4 hours yet and drunk already...Graeme is the champ...


...at the swim up bar...of course...


...best bed buddies in the lobby bar...


...me with a monkey on my back...uh, shoulder...


...three fingers at the buffet bar...Rob, Donna and Dave...


Kelvin...Jay's Spanish teacher and bartender and friend to all...


...Speedo Steve-O and the Princess...


...my God we were happy to be there!

More Dominican Tid-Bits

I'll say it again...oh so hard to express in words just how cool it was to be in the tropics, donning a bathing suit and swimming in the ocean in the middle of January. For me. Toronto was exotic, so being so close to the equater was a thrill. Here are some more pix and notes...


Rob, Dave and I took a day long tour of the country side the day following the wedding. The first stop was a HUGE sugar cane field...I mean it was ginormous! We drove through it for almost an hour...acres and acres of sugar cane...they let us sample raw sugar cane as Sandro, our guide, explained the history, cultivation and economic relavance of the sugar cane industry...quite interesting. After eating the sugar cane, Sandro then went on to discuss the production of Rum, during which we consumed a large portion of said liquid form of sugar cane...it was 9:30 in the morning and I had a serious buzz going on...


That's Sandro riding the back of the truck with a few local children who had hitched a ride in the hopes of getting some candy. There were kids at every speed bump...the truck had to slow down at these spots, so they would hang out there so the tourist would throw candy to them.


Our next stop was the Cigar Museum where we were given a shot of Mamajuana, an absolutely mouth watering combination of dried, cured roots and herbs steeped in a mixture of rum, red wine and honey. We drank A LOT of Mamajuana on this vacation...they call it the Dominican Viagra...hummmm.

Pictured above is a typical Dominican butcher shop. We passed through a lot of small villages and towns during our tour and these were everywhere. Sandro said that a lot of tourists are grossed out by the meat just hanging there...they eat it every day and he said if we ate it it would not make us sick...it was all in our heads...would you risk it?


...same butcher shop...one pig, two heads...'nuff said...


On the way to a typical country farm, we saw some AMAZING scenery. The ride was long, rough, dusty and hot and I LOVED every minute of it! What a beautiful country. Passing through some of the villages was difficult...a lot of these people are so poor it would break your heart. I got stabbed with pangs of guilt as Johnny Rottens voice echoed in my head..."You shouldn't holiday in other people's misery"...


I wanted to scoop up all the children and take them home with me...

On this note, I will sign off. Time to return to reality and get shit done. More to come soon so stay tuned folks!

FINALLY....some notes on the trip....

Yes, I know....

We've been back for almost two weeks now and I haven't written anything about the trip to the Dominican. Sorry 'bout that. The thing is, I was in the Dominican for about two hours when I completely forgot it was winter and I had climatized to the heat and humidity....I still have not re-climatized to the cold and snow...this place SUCKS ass...at least in the winter...

It is almost impossible to put into words just how freakin' awesome the trip was and how beautiful a country it is....so I will show you.

Here are some highlights........


This was the view of the Island as we made our descent. I commented to Rob that even the clouds looked exotic...


We just arrived at the resort after a 40 minute ride from the airport. Carlos, our guide, explained a bit about life in the Dominican and issued some warnings to tourists...where to shop, where not to shop...stay away from the Casinos...what to buy and how to tell if it is real...he was good, spoke English quite well and was VERY easy on the eyes...where is my photo of him and I, Mr. Olsen?


Yup...I was actually there...that's me on our ocean view balcony in my new bikini...we spent a good portion of our mornings hanging out on the balcony staring at the ocean...and laughing at fat guys in speedos...and pointing out naked boobies...


...some of the gang at the swim up pool bar...we spent A LOT of time there...unfortunately it closed every day at 6:00, so we would go eat and then head to the bar at the lobby. it closed at midnight, so we would then head to the bar in the buffet restaurant which was open all night...uh-oh...


That's me sitting on the pool bar with Alex, the bartender. he was great, a lot of fun and also worked in the lobby bar so he saw A LOT of this crew...


This is the market about 15 minutes down the beach from our resort...one of the places Carlos warned us about...the Amber and Larimar (the National stone of the Dominican Republic only found there) are all fake although they'll tell you otherwise. The vendors are very aggressive, yelling things like "Cheapy cheapy!", "Almost free!", "For you, special price" and "Boxing week sale!". There were about a dozen different shops but they all had exactly the same things. Jodi even got an offer of marriage from one of the vendors..."You are like milk and I am like coffee. Our skin looks beautiful together. If you want to stay I will marry you." How could she pass that up?


Mr. and Mrs. Cooper during the ring exchange ceremony on the beach. It was beautiful and touching...not a dry eye on the beach...


A Mariachi band played as they had their first dance on the beach...everything was picture perfect...and hot...did I mention it was really freakin' hot that day?...yup...definitely hot...

Part two of the Dominican will be posted shortly. There is much more to show. Until then...NAR NAR!!...