This Ain't No Motley Crue Show, Honey...Part I ( hi...we're not from here...)

* I have yet to upload my photos of the trip...they will be posted as soon as they are...thank you for your patience...

Anyone ever taken a road trip with Trevor Harding? How many near-death experiences did you have? I counted at least six occasions when the Reaper was climbing onto the hood of the Focus as Trevor "Mario Andretti-ed" us to Grand Rapids to catch Social Distortion. I relaxed every time "Fuzzy the Fuzz-Buster" would beep 'cuz he at least slowed for a few moments. "This is going to be close, folks..." he would warn, passing traffic left, right and center...but we made it one piece and I thank him from the bottom of the heart in my throat for driving.

Mid way to Grand Rapids, we made the mistake of stopping at an "Applebee's" for lunch. I joked about everything being "chicken fried and smothered in white gravy" and wouldn't you know it?...the waitress mentioned they had "chicken fried chicken" and the only gravy they had was "white country gravy"...this made us laugh........a lot. Rob, Trev and Beth all ordered the club sandwich. They arrived soaked and fried in grease...chicken fried, I suppose. I had a burger...it was NOT chicken fried was pretty good. The other three did not feel so hot following the consumption of their cholesterol specials...I was fine. When in doubt, always order a burger...it's hard to fuck up a burger.

Arriving in Grand rapids at about 4:00, we spent about half an hour driving around looking for the "Orbit Room". Fuzzy was going off randomly, apparently trying to tell us we were going in the wrong direction. The phrase of the day was "hi...we're not from here" which was uttered on numerous occasions to no one in particular as we pulled Beths patented "maneuver"...basically a U-turn anywhere necessary...the highway, busy intersections, exit ramps...ee gave up searching for the time being and decided to get the room and ask directions...Hotel 6 it was...ten bucks a person...can't go wrong with that.

As luck would have it, the Orbit Room was right across the street from our hotel. Next question; where's the nearest liquor store? Shanikwa at the front desk informed Trev that she didn't drink, so she didn't know. There was a pause of shock and a look of horror before he asked, "Do you have any friends that drink?" Smiling nervously, she ignored the question and finished checking us in.

Rob chilled in the room while Trev, Beth and I went in search of adult beverages. Spotting a sign out of the corner of my eye, "B&B Liquor" was seemingly the only option and our final destination. Fuzzy beeped franticly as we pulled up front, very happy for us....it was very amusing and some what eerie. We all felt like we had made a pilgrimage to Mecca when we walked in...this place put the LCBO to HUGE shame...they had everything under the sun in 20 different varieties. We stood mouths agape in awe at the entrance of the walk-in beer cooler...I have never seen so many beer I'd never heard of before. The woman who owned the store was very helpful, knowledgeable and proud of the fact we loved it so much..I think we made her day. With two six packs in hand each, we headed back to the hotel. Rob bitched that we didn't buy any "beer flavoured beer" but was happy to drink what we gave him.

Following the ravenous inhalation of a couple o' cold ones, we headed over to the Orbit Room, where I was crushed when security informed me I was unable to bring in the digital camera I had borrowed from Suzie....CRUSHED I tell you! For some reason, a disposable camera would have been fine...I don't get it. Frustrated, sad and angry with myself for not listening to Rob when he told me bring a disposable, I walked back to the hotel to put my only opportunity to have my own picture of Mike Ness away...I was beyond crushed...

Returning after chasing my cowboy hat down the highway, the scary security lesbian didn't even frisk me as I entered the venue...guess I wasn't her type...FUCK!! I could have stashed the camera in my pants had I known that. Inside, I took Rob by the shoulders, looked him dead in the eye and said, "Honey, for the first time I am saying this..." I took a deep breath, "You were right and I was wrong." Elated, he went running over to Trev and Beth to tell them what I had said.

Now guys, size does matter and in this case, smaller was better...the Orbit Room is about half the size of the Princess...fanfuckingtastic to see a rock and roll show...and to take pictures with a disposable camera...absolutely and utterly crushed...FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!!! Why, oh why did I not listen to my ever so brilliant husband?

But I would not let this spoil my evening. I was about to see the talented, the nasty, the oh so sexy Mike Ness in the flesh...up close and personal...the excitement was almost overwhelming...

I needed a drink...there was a lot more crushing about to happen than I bargained for...